This is the first post in a series of excerpts from my memoir, “Enough,” to be published later in 2021. Have you ever done something your friends thought was crazy? Tell me about it in a comment below!
When I decided to go to Costa Rica for myself, a handful of friends thought going on a vacation alone was amazing for me, but not for them. “I could never do that by myself,” they’d say. They envied my confidence.
I knew they were perfectly capable of figuring out everything that I’d figured out (I mean, they had the internet just like I did). I was just one step ahead of them, figuring it out as I went. They had more self doubt than I did; they lacked more self trust than I did.
I got it. My lack of self trust had once tipped the scale at an epic proportion. I’d been the queen of deferring to others. It felt too hard to make my own decisions or accept responsibility for my own life. I wanted to make my life the responsibility of other people, like my parents and my ex-husband. That way, if things fell apart, I didn’t have to own the disaster all by myself. It would be someone else’s fault too.
‘See what we did?’
That approach didn’t work out so great.
My life fell apart anyway, and after it did there was no one around me to blame.
In just one year, I got divorced, was stripped of financial stability, lost my beloved home, foreclosed on investment properties, declared bankruptcy, lost my father to brain cancer, and had no clue what to do with myself or my life.
It was if the Universe had said ‘Buckle up, Buttercup, we’re going for a wild ride!’
For my friends, I knew they would find their own versions of courage and strength when they needed to, just like I had, even if they didn’t know it yet.
I just hoped they wouldn’t have to suffer in the same way to figure out how courageous and strong they could be.
Are you ready to see how courageous and strong you can be?